Oh, wow. I didn't realize it had been 97 days since my last blog post until I logged in to write a new blog post.

*hangs head in shame*

Although, really, the thing is, since that last blog post about wading into the dating pool? Well, a lot's happened. A lot of really awesomely fantastic things that kinda sorta drew my attention away from anything other than, well, the awesomely fantastic things that have been going on.

You probably know where this is going, so I'll confirm--new relationships make you lose your ever lovin' mind.

But in a good way. Well, in a good, I'm totally distracted walking on Cloud 9 a part of me thought this was just fiction and not real, sort of way.

As you may or may not have noticed, I don't often write about really personal things on my blog. That was a conscious decision on my part, considering I have a private blog for just that purpose.

However, sometimes things happen in the personal life that are somehow incredibly...connected to what you write.

My therapist has been slowly pushing me towards dating. Yes, I know--a romance writer who doesn't date? Gasp! I've had my reasons, and the hiatus was good for me. Now, though, is the time to start putting myself out there, meet new people and maybe go out on a date or two. Really, the meeting new people part shouldn't be difficult for me, since I'm one of those weird extroverted writers (I'm firmly an ENFP on the Myers' Briggs scale). I love meeting new people. And for whatever reason, those new people always seem to spill their life stories--or at least a significant chunk of them--to me within five minutes. It's a little perplexing, but at the same time I enjoy it. What better way could there be to get character inspiration?

Dating, however, is like this whole other beast. It takes a lot to get me interested in someone (hey, I'm picky and have standards *g*), and I can count on one hand the number of men who have really and truly sparked my interest in the past two years. See? Picky. That, and the pickin's seem to be slim around here most of the time.

So how does this tie into writing?

Well, see, that's the funny thing...

The other day, I found myself saying to a couple of my friends at church, "I need some help. Anyone know any single guys?" And my brain flashed to Molly, the heroine of BGNLT, who in a flash of desperation decides to go out on a bunch of blind dates in order to get over her best friend. However, the best friend is the one setting her up on these dates.

Luckily, I don't have the latter problem. A) my best friend lives in Tennessee, my best friend's a chick and therefore I don't exactly need to get over her and C) if my best friend were to set me up on blind dates I fully trust her judgement seeing as how we're brain twins and all.

It just struck me as funny that I was literally taking a page from my own book. I'd never thought I would ask my friends to help me out, but there I was, straight-faced (which is almost uncommon for me) and completely serious. Who would've guessed it?

...

My therapist. That's who would've guessed it. She's been telling me for months that I should do that, and I'm not sure why the idea just now clicked in my head.

So, yeah. Dating. I'm trying to wade in without letting nerves get to me. I'm trying to keep an open mind. And I'm trying not to hold my breath waiting for someone interesting and good to come along who captures my attention. Well, err, there's kind of one of those already. But like I said, I'm wading in. Slowly. Very, very slowly.

So what things have you done to enhance your dating life? What worked? What didn't? Got any funny/sweet/horrific stories to share? I do love a good dating story.

Happy New Year, everyone!

I know, I know. But Aubrey, we're 11 days in, aren't you running a little behind here?

Yeah, I am. But at this rate that shouldn't surprise anyone. I really do have a good excuse, too. I was in Tennessee over the New Year, as my best friend got married on the 30th. And all last week I was playing catch-up at my day job after being out for two weeks. That might have been the longest week ever. Seriously.

Now, though, I'm getting back in the saddle. And getting back in the saddle means thinking about my writing goals for this year.

So without any further adieu:

1. Continue to submit BGNLT to agents. Someone will fall in love with this book, dammit.
2. Begin to work on my next women's fiction/rom com Fourth and Inches. Well, when I say begin to work on, I mean I have the first chapter written (and workshopped!), but haven't looked at it in forever and a day. Plus, with football season ending, I'll need to get my football fix somehow or another.
3. Submit at least two--if not three--stories as my alter ego to my alter ego's publisher. One of these will hopefully be novel-length (50K to 120K, most likely between 50K and 75K). I've already started writing my next story for this goal, and I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

Simple goals, right? They're flexible, too, which is always a good thing. Notice I haven't said, "Find an agent" for goal number 1. While I really do want to find an agent for BGNLT, I also realize that saying I'll find an agent this year could be unrealistic, as that part is something I have little control over. All I can do to see that happen is to continue submitting, writing those query letters and keeping my fingers crossed. I am, however, toying with the idea of setting a goal of submitting to one agent a week. Last year I was trying to submit to five at a time, but with moving and then the holidays coming up and deadlines for my alter ego, that just, well, yeah. So I think for this year, saying I'll submit to one agent a week is a good, solid goal that's easily achieved. If I happen to submit to more than one a week, good for me.

For anyone wondering, I have already submitted to one agent/agency. If I haven't heard back from them by February 1, I'll know they passed on the manuscript, so at least it's a pretty fast turnaround. I'm still waiting to hear back from one agent I queried last year and who requested a partial, and I'm thinking I might need to shoot her an email just to make sure she hasn't mailed something to my previous address and it hasn't been forwarded.

Since I've shared my writing goals for 2009 with y'all, what are YOUR 2009 goals? Anything interesting or exciting?

For anyone who follows The Smart Bitches or Dear Author, you're probably fully aware of their Buy a Contemporary, Save the World campaign. As a writer of contemporary romance, both myself and my alter ego fully support the purchase of contemporary romances. That's why I've decided to put this nifty little widget on my blog this morning:




So buy a contemporary and save the world this holiday season. With the economy being in the crapper, books are a great escape from the reality of being in the poorhouse, IMO.

I know, I know.

*slaps own wrist*

I've been a bad, bad blogger. And I'm sorry, I really am. My only excuse is that my life's been crazy between moving, planning a conference, volunteering, and, well, my alter ego.

Amidst all of that, though, I did hear back from another agent. Once again, I received a rejection.

The thing about being a writer is that you have to develop a pretty thick skin--and yet somehow remain vulnerable enough to be able to emotionally connect to your reader. That probably explains why most of us are on meds or in therapy or both. To be honest, though, the rejections really don't bother me. Granted, if I were getting nothing but negative rejections they probably would bother me. But when they're positive? It's hard to get too upset when someone's telling you you're a good writer, they just don't love your book.

Granted, that's also extremely frustrating.

When you keep hearing the equivalent of, "You have a good plot, I really like your voice, and your characters are interesting," BUT "I'm just not in love with it," it's like being told, "it's not you, it's me." Which we all know is the lamest breakup line ever.

Considering this isn't a breakup, and as writers we're also readers, having an agent tell you something like this makes sense. Frustrating sense, but sense nonetheless. I've bought many a book thinking, "Man, this sounds great," only to end up totally not loving it in the end. Somewhere, somehow, I lose interest. I mean, I'll keep reading, but it's not one of those books that'll keep me up until two in the morning when I've gotta be up in three hours for work. To be honest, those books are few and far between for me anyway. But as a reader, I can understand, and as a writer, I'm not sure I would want an agent who didn't completely love my book. Why? Because if she doesn't love my book, she's not going to push as hard to sell it as she would a book she does love.

So it's the waiting game. Waiting for the right one to come along, to see my manuscript and fall head over heels in love with it.

Kind of appropriate, considering I write romance.

Beyond the Right One factor, though, is also the economy. Let's face it, agents and editors are probably going to be hesitant to go out on a limb for a new author, not when publishing houses are laying off employees left and right, closing down entire lines within the house, and not accepting any new submissions until sometime in 2009.

It's scary stuff, folks. Granted, so is the state of my checking account, and I'm willing to bet that editors and agents and publishers are also looking at their checking accounts thinking, "Oh, crap. This is so not good." And, come on, a reissue by Nora Roberts from the 1980s would probably sell better in this economy than a brand new novel by Aubrey Curry. Why? Name recognition. When people barely have any money to spend on luxury items--such as shiny new books--they're going to go with the tried and true rather than the new and unknown. Or they'll go to used bookstores or the library, which makes no one nothing.

Does that mean any of us should stop querying and submitting? Not at all. It just means you need to be more realistic, and understand that things might be a little rough until the U.S. economy pulls out of this slump it's in. For a lot of us, it probably means only querying agents who accept e-queries rather than who want you to snail mail them (when I said my checking account was bad, I wasn't joking). It means being selective about our postage. It means not giving up, and telling yourself that this won't last forever.

And to quote Journey: "Don't stop believin'."

I know, I know, I've been a bit remiss in updating my blog. Let's just say that between moving, being attacked by killer bees while moving, a conference for work, volunteering for a political campaign, family drama and my alter ego having a deadline this month, life's been a bit crazy.

Actually, crazy might be an understatement.

At least, though, I'm fully moved in to my new apartment. Granted, when I say "fully" that means my stuff is in there. As of right now, the only thing I've really unpacked is clothing and shoes. Hey, a girl's gotta unpack the important things first, right? Last night, though, I just stood in my new living room, looking at all the boxes around me, and had no clue where to begin. So I picked up the latest Maggie Shayne and watched How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory.

Hey, I think I deserve at least a little bit of relaxation--conferences can be physically and mentally draining. Plus, there's that whole allergic reaction to the bee sting thing.

I'll get back to the agent search blogs as soon as I can--I promise. As of right now, the same two agents are still looking at my partial (unless something got shuffled in the mail during the move), I have a list of the next five to query, and a mom who keeps getting onto me and asking, "When are you going to get that one published?" (Funnily enough, my mom thinks Big Girls Need Love Too is more "self help novel" than "romance/women's fiction novel." I like to call it humorous women's fiction with a large dose of romance and a heroine who is most definitely a survivor. *g*)

To be honest, though, I don't see my life calming down much until after October 23rd (my alter ego's deadline), and then I'll probably be heavily involved in the last-minute push to get out the vote.

However, you can still keep up with me via my Twitter feed. I have the little patch just over there to the left, or you can find me at http://twitter.com/chicklitter.

Cheers!

Aubrey

*cue Barenaked Ladies*

This morning whilst in the shower, I was thinking about shopping. I'm not sure why I was thinking about shopping--other than the fact that it's an activity I enjoy--but I was definitely thinking about shopping. Somehow that led to the thought of the crap ton of Real Woman Bucks I have that are only good through September 9th, and how I hate to waste them, and how I really hope this really cute sweater dress I saw in the mailer I got yesterday is in stores already. That thought somehow led to the thought that Lane Bryant's Rebate Days, and the fact that the promotion is over this month, and that soon they would be drawing the winner's name.

And what does the winner get?

One hundred thousand dollars.

For whatever reason, though, I was thinking it was a million. My only excuse is that I was barely awake, and thus still didn't have complete control over my brain. The thought of winning a million dollars, though, inspired me to think about all the things I could do with said money.

Thus, my own take on If I Had a Million Dollars.

1. Pay off my student loans and car. Like many people my age, getting an education helped to put me into some pretty serious debt. Granted, after getting both a bachelor's and Master's degree I'm still below the average for student loan debt compared to others with bachelor's and Master's degrees. That being said, I still owe a veritable crap ton of money, and am not looking forward to shelling out money for my education for the rest of my life. Okay, maybe only the next ten to fifteen years. But still, that's a long time. I also have a car that's only a year old, so paying it off would be nice, too. Less debt=good times.

2. Buy a house. As I've mentioned before, I'm in the process of packing up all of my belongings (and ditching the junk I don't need) and moving to another apartment. I'm honestly not sure how much longer I can stand apartment living. Granted, I'm looking forward to my new place--I think it will be much better than where I am now. But I'm also at an age where I want my own house. Or maybe it's my ovaries that want a house. I swear they keep chanting, "nest. nest. nest. nest."

3. Invest a huge chunk into an IRA. Yes, I'm pretty practical-minded when it comes to this stuff. And even though I'm young and have plenty of time to build up my retirement funds, I'm not holding my breath in the hope that Social Security will still be around by the time I reach retirement age. Plus, while I invest in my company's 403(b), it would be nice to have an additional nest egg lined up. I've seen how hard it is for those without pension benefits exist post-retirement, and I don't want to be stuck in that same position.

4. Invest 50K into a high-growth, high-yield savings medium. This would be split five ways between my nieces and nephews, and go towards their college educations. Lord knows by the time they get old enough to go to college the cost of education is going to be astronomical, and every little bit will help (plus, I figure nine years at the earliest gives that money plenty of time to grow).

5. Pay for my parents to go on a nice vacation they've always dreamed of. My mom wants to go to Belize. Like, badly wants to go to Belize. Unfortunately, my parents barely have the time or money to take a vacation down to Corpus, much less Belize. Plus, both of them are the type that would feel guilty for paying for something like this for themselves when they could be using that money on the grandkids or taking care of all the stray animals people seem to leave in front of their house. Yes, my parents are big softies. *grin* And yes, I would love to do something nice for them.

6. Go on vacation. Where? Who knows. Believe it or not, I've never been to NYC, and I would love to go, just for the experience. And, okay, the shopping. Plus-sized boutiques? I'm so there. Plus, there's all that arts and culture that I don't get to experience here in Waco. And maybe I would go on a cruise, or somewhere tropical with white sand beaches, clear blue seas, bright drinks with umbrellas in them and a handsome pool boy named Julio who also doubles as a personal masseuse.

7. Shop. Okay, so, yeah, I'm a bit of a clothes horse. I love clothes. I also love shoes. So yes, I would do some shopping. Some serious shopping. Books, of course, would also be included, as would wide calf boots. Do you know how hard it is to find wide calf boots--especially when you're short?

8. The rest? Put it in savings, invest in other ways, etc. As nice as it is to think of blowing a million bucks, I don't know that I could do that. I'm too responsible, and too much the type of person who looks towards the future. I would want to give some hefty chunks to a few local non-profit organizations who's work I whole-heartedly believe in, namely the Advocacy Center, Women's Shelter and Planned Parenthood. And the local library.

So what would YOU do if you had a million dollars? Would you blow it all? Invest? Roll around in it until you smelled like eau de Benjamin Franklin?

Part of what I've been doing this past week for my day job is compile and write descriptions for different STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) careers. While some of those careers weren't very scintillating, some of them have been quite interesting. Even moreso, though, is the fact that two of the major websites I've been using could also be great tools for writers.

The first: The Bureau of Labor Statistics Occupational Outlook Handbook

The second: O*NET OnLine

Both are fantastic sites that give you tons of information on different occupations, including skills, interests and education requirements. So if you have a hero who's, say, an Oceanographer, but you have no clue what the hell an Oceanographer does, you can look it up on either of these sites and get a pretty good idea of what the job entails. O*NET is really good, though, in that you get a decent idea of what kind of personality someone in that career would have, as it lists skills, qualities, etc. that are necessary for the job.

I know I plan on using both of these beyond my day job, and to help enhance my writing and research. Just thought I'd share.

Hope everyone's having a great Labor Day weekend.

Cheers!

*waves sheepishly*

I know, I know, it's been a little too long. And just in case you haven't noticed the nifty little Twitter feed over there ---> on the sidebar, I am still alive.

To be honest, life has gotten a little in the way these past few weeks. Apartment hunting is time-consuming, y'all. Add that to the now prospect of moving, along with a tight deadline at my day job (yes, we writers actually have day jobs--crazy, I know) that's left me virtually brain dead past six o'clock in the evening, and my alter ego having a deadline (shhh! it's a secret!), needless to say blogging hasn't been number one on my list of priorities. In fact, constructing a complete sentence once I get home hasn't really been high on my list of priorities. And I'll admit, I did get a bit caught up in watching Ryan Lochte the Olympics.

The agent search is still going strong. I need to send more query letters out, but I do still have two agents looking over the partial for Big Girls Need Love Too. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but don't expect to hear anything for at least another couple of weeks. I still have plenty of things to talk about, it's simply been a matter of not having the time to fully dedicate to blogging.

I'm hoping things will get back to something closer to normal next week, at least as far as the whole brain dead thing goes. Until then, if you have any topics regarding the agent search you would like to see me discuss (or any anecdotes/advice of your own), feel free to leave me a comment or shoot me an email.

Cheers!